Leche

I want to cry but I couldn't
The pain is very deep that my eyes couldn't see
It's like dying within my soul
Even the saddest love song couldn't lift

I want to shout from deep within
I want to pour out the pain within me
Why do I have this wound?
Am I that bad enough to be punished with this?

Why can't I let go?
Why my heart still longs for you?
Why am I still enduring the pain that you're giving me?
Why can't I ignore you?

Every night I pray that one day
I'll be waking up that you're only someone
that you're only nothing
but why does everyday turns to longing,
missing, loving?

If only I could pull the time where your just a history
If only I could escape from this wounds
I know that what I'm asking is impossible to give
But please don't hurt me anymore
Just a friend, just a person

If only I could answer the question why I love you
If only I could control my emotion that easy
If only I could change the time
then I already did... I already did

I'm very sorry to my self for hurting
Don't worry, just a little time
and I would not allow to hurt you anymore.

Love and Hate

this is what I'm afraid of
and I'm very tired of it
it's repeating again
I don't know what to do
I'm insane

Very hard to conquer
when love and hate
meet in despair

I'm getting tired of it
I need to rest
Please set me free
please don't do this to me

I'm begging
I'm very tired
I'm very tired...

your wedding day

I was in a drug store to buy some food supplement for my blood circulation when I recalled that day was your wedding day. My celphone rung and my aunt called, "aren't you attending the wedding? We're waiting for you!" I went home thinking if I'll be going to attend your day or not. I lied down to my bed and looked to the ticks of clock, waiting for my self say "ok I'll go". I rose up, change my clothes and headed to your place. It was still 2 o'clock in the afternoon when I reached your home. The door was open and someone in your family met me, I asked if you've already left, she said, "they already in the church". I closed my eyes, and my heart aches. I went out to your door and called you in your celphone. "Hey is everything already started?" you said in your very low, serious, soft spoken voice "It's only starting...", I looked up to the sky while handling the phone, tears burst out and decided not to go......

I woke up from that dream with pain in my heart...Now, how could I able let you go and let my self free before everything will turn out to that??